A Love Most Worthy Read online

  When she started to put the food in the basket, he stretched out on the quilt. He might tell her of his past another day, after he pondered how to approach it.

  Lying on his back, his eyes drifted shut. The bird calls and breeze rustling the grass around him lulled him into a relaxed state. He sensed her lean over him to take his plate. Her lilac scent reminded him of the feel of her skin when he’d touched her arm the day she visited the Zellers—soft and tempting. The memory crept into the thick haze of lethargy.

  Hallie whispered something in Rance’s ear, but he couldn’t comprehend the words. He turned his head to ask her to repeat it and was met by a gentle smile, a face mottled with freckles, and red hair tied back with a scarlet ribbon. The vision beckoned him to reach up and cup his hand around the back of her neck. He pulled her head down...closer...closer, until her lips met his. At first resistant, then supple and yielding, deeper and sweeter—

  His eyes popped open, and he blinked to clear his vision.

  Hallie knelt at his side. Her lips, a hand’s breadth from his, trembled. Why was she so close?

  She jerked back, scrambled to her feet, and turned partially away from him. With her hand pressed against her forehead, she mumbled, “W-what did you do?”

  What had he done? As Rance sifted through his memory and struggled to understand her dismay, disjointed images of a dream danced in his mind.

  Surely not.

  He hid his guilt behind his hand as if he could hide slumber’s fantasies. That kiss could never...would never happen in real life, and people didn’t act out dreams.

  “I only wanted to wake you, but...but...” Hallie whispered as if they were in the midst of a curious crowd rather than alone on the tundra.

  If the tingle on his lips corresponded to the visions in his head, he’d made a horrible mistake. He jumped to his feet. “I’m sorry. I assure you...”

  She grabbed a corner of the quilt and threatened to yank it out from under him. He hopped backward and grabbed his side of the colorful spread. Careful to keep a proper distance, he stretched his arm out and handed the quilt to her. She folded it, added it to the basket, and slumped away like a wounded rabbit.

  He snatched the Winchester from the ground. At least he hadn’t broken his promise to Robbie. His kiss might have shocked and upset her, but it hadn’t made her cry.

  Of course, there was always tomorrow.

  Chapter Eight

  Hallie stood at the porch rail as water poured off the roof and splashed into the muddy yard. With the rainy weather these past couple of weeks, wagon wheels had cut deep ruts through the street in front of the house.

  She hadn’t seen her neighbors in days. At first, the flowers showed appreciation of a good drink after a dry start to the summer. Now, they appeared as tired of the sogginess as everyone else.

  Thankfully, the boys were still sleeping. The longer, the better. They were bored and irritable being caged inside. She had read them every book within reach, led them in singing every song she knew by heart, and played all the games she recalled from her childhood.

  She wrapped an arm around the thin post by the step, stared at the rain-blurred scene, and practically tasted the moist air on her tongue. A brisk wind pinned her skirt to her legs. Would the storms never stop? Would the sky never clear? Even her normally sunny disposition was taxed to its limit.

  “Aunt Hallie?”

  She whipped around at hearing the little voice behind her and brushed aside the wind-loosened strands of hair that blew across her face. Robbie stood on the other side of the threshold rubbing his eyes. “Good morning, sleepyhead. Is Davie up too?”

  “Not yet.” Once he could see clearly through the fog of a half-sleep, the boy pouted. “More rain.”

  Hallie closed the gap between them. Hands on his shoulders, she turned him from the dreary sight. “Are you hungry?”

  “Yes, ma’am. Is Uncle Rance gone?”

  “He left a short time ago for the store.”

  With each step, Rance’s rubber boots had left tracks in the muck. Hallie had stood outside for several minutes after he hiked out of sight, watching in silence as water filled the prints he’d added to the yard.

  More than two weeks had passed, and the two of them hadn’t discussed what happened the day of her shooting lesson. Instead, he tiptoed around her, and it was her fault.

  Why had she kissed him while he’d napped?

  No matter how many times she re-ran that moment through her mind or how many ways she tried to twist it, she couldn’t deny her culpability. Good heavens, he had looked so peaceful, his lips so enticing. It felt right. More than right. Then again, maybe she had pushed for it to feel that way. Maybe she wanted to be the right one for him.

  And he had kissed her back.

  Contrary to Rance’s renewed distance, she hadn’t shaken the hope that the passion in his response meant he thought of her as more than a substitute mother for the children or a maid around the house. The idea of a lifetime of sharing little more than an affection for the boys gripped her with too many memories of the past.

  What would she know about a man’s feelings? She had little experience with kisses, certainly none like that one. And what made her think he kissed her in his sleep? For all she knew, he’d been dreaming of another woman. Briers pricked the insides of her stomach at the notion.

  “If Uncle Rance can go outside, why can’t we?” Robbie’s whine released her from thoughts as gloomy as the day.

  “Because he has work to do.”

  Rance’s reputation in Nome was spotless. His customers and employees considered him fair, and she adored the strength he displayed in raising his nephews.

  Sometimes, she sensed the crackle of a fiery zeal stirring inside him, waiting to flare. It was in the way he interacted with Robbie and Davie. It was in his confident walk and self-assurance.

  And it was in that kiss.

  Oh really, Hallie. Just admit you like the man. You like him, despite the fact he wouldn’t miss you if you floated off on an iceberg headed for Russia. Admit that you enjoyed receiving a taste of how a true marriage to him might feel.

  Her breath stalled with another thought. What if she loved him?

  She slammed a pan onto the circular lid of the stove, determined to stop wallowing in the mud pit of a future she’d dug for herself. “I’ll fix you some oatmeal.”

  Robbie scowled at the pan. “I want eggs.”

  “No eggs this morning. They’re too expensive.” The prices for goods had grown with the number of ships in the harbor, and at around two dollars per dozen, eggs had become a rare treat rather than a staple.

  He banged his little fist on the table. “I want eggs.”

  Hallie set the kettle on the stove, then shook her finger at him. “Robert Preston, you will not throw a tantrum. Is that understood?” She had never spoken to either of the boys like that and had been equally as guilty of a tantrum a moment earlier. If she could only catch the words before they reached his ears.

  He ducked his head. “Yes, ma’am.”

  She crouched in front of him. “I know it’s hard not being able to play outside, but it won’t make things any easier if we lose our tempers with one another, right?”

  “I guess so.”

  She squeezed his hand. “Go wake your brother while I put the oatmeal on.”

  Once he disappeared inside the bedroom, Hallie sighed. Robbie was a sweet child, her defender, and he rarely gave her trouble. She was turning as testy as the boys, but she suspected it had less to do with restlessness caused by the weather and more to do with a restlessness caused by the state of her marriage.

  RANCE GLANCED OUT THE store’s front window. The glass was dry, but muddy footprints caked the building’s floor no matter how often his employees cleaned the planks.

  His emotions were as mired in mud as the floor. At home, he had tried not to be alone with Hallie or think of her for fear of repeating a kiss neither of them wanted.

  Rememb
er Colleen?

  Who was he trying to fool? The idea of kissing Hallie had pestered him for days before he’d acted upon it. How irresponsible to let himself fall under the spell of another high-spirited woman. Hadn’t he caused the boys enough pain? He owed them too much to be careless with his heart again.

  Rance pinched the space between his eyes. Hallie wasn’t Colleen. Was she?

  “Nice to see the end of the rain for a change.” A miner in rumpled and mud-spattered clothing approached the counter with an armful of supplies.

  Rance struggled to remember his name, then gave up. “It’s good for everyone’s business.”

  The man chuckled and dropped the load on the counter. “Reckon so. People are out and about, taking advantage of the dry weather, even your family.”

  “You saw them this morning?”

  The man nodded. “With the basket your wife carried, I figured they were headed out to pick blueberries.”

  Rance attempted a smile, but knew it held no life. “Blueberries?”

  A couple of days ago, Hallie mentioned taking the boys out on the next good day to pick the fruit, but she’d said nothing this morning about it. If she had, he would have accompanied her. He’d learned his lesson the last time.

  His customer nodded. “Good thing your woman’s armed.”

  The pen in Rance’s hand dropped, blotting the credit column in the ledger book. “Why do you say that?”

  “You know how that fruit attracts them brown bears. Saw me one earlier.”

  Don’t panic. “And you didn’t mention it to Hallie?”

  “Wasn’t close enough to her.”

  “Where did you see the bear?”

  “A couple miles northeast of town, but—”

  Hallie could have walked in that direction.

  Rance removed his apron and tossed it on the counter, then called to a clerk to finish tallying the miner’s purchases. He ran into the stock room, grabbed his coat and the shotgun he kept at the store in case of trouble. The back door slammed on his way out.

  DAVIE CHASED ROBBIE through the grass, his little legs lifting high to keep from tripping. Hallie allowed them to run as much as they wanted. Even with the temperatures already sinking near the end of August, after being cooped up inside, the exercise did them good.

  The tundra’s soggy soil would travel home with them, and washing clothes would be a chore, but it was worth it to see them active and happy.

  She carried her bucket for collecting the blueberries in one hand and the rifle in the other. Had it been up to her, the weapon would have remained at home. Picking the blueberries meant setting it down and hoping she remembered it again. Besides, without further lessons, she wasn’t convinced of her ability to use it.

  The three of them played and picked fruit for about an hour before Hallie told the boys, “We have a full bucket. It’s time to head back.”

  “Aww...” Davie kicked at the grass.

  She tugged the brim of his cap over his eyes. “You want that pie I promised to bake, don’t you?”

  “Yes, ma’am!” A grin split his face as he spun to follow his big brother.

  Robbie stopped unexpectedly, and Hallie almost ran into him. “L-look.”

  He pointed toward a dark shape lumbering on the horizon. Though the bear was hardly recognizable with the distance, Hallie’s eyes widened. The bucket of blueberries fell and tipped, spilling the fruit. She pushed Robbie and Davie to the ground, out of sight of the animal, and crouched beside them.

  What was she to do? How did she protect the boys from a beast known for its strength and the vicious use of its teeth and claws? Not even a full-grown man could outrun a grizzly. If the need arose, how was she supposed to do so with two little ones in tow?

  Hallie rotated, looking for a place to hide. Nothing but grass, blueberry bushes, and brush covering the flat land and low mounds that formed the tundra.

  Robbie tugged on her sleeve and whispered, “What do we do, Aunt Hallie?”

  Davie sensed the fear and whimpered. She wrapped him in her arms. “Shh, Nugget. We’ll be fine.” Somehow, she had managed to keep her voice low, even, and panic free. That and the use of Rance’s nickname for the child seemed to soothe him somewhat.

  The bear plodded on, wandering in their direction, seemingly oblivious to the sight or smell of them. So far.

  Hallie’s grasp on the rifle tightened until she thought she would crush the metal simply through her grip. She would do anything to protect her boys, even use the weapon in her hand, because no matter how tentative her relationship with Rance, they were her boys now. They loved her and she loved them. They were family.

  The metal on the weapon’s stock grew slick under her palm. Running would only attract the bear’s attention. What if she were forced to shoot and she missed? What if doing so only enraged the animal? A wrong decision brought greater risk to the boys’ safety.

  Helplessness gripped her. She was as alone now—at this moment—as when she’d lived under her father’s roof and during those first days in Rance’s house. She’d been able to count on no one during those times, and she could count on no one now.

  A cool breeze blew against her back as if to remind her that she was not alone. One stood with her and for her. He was the Creator of the wind, the rain, and the animal that threatened them—her Shield and Deliverer in times of trouble. Why hadn’t she sought Him first before allowing fear to paralyze her? Why hadn’t she depended on His presence long before now?

  Lord, give me wisdom. Show me how to protect Davie and Robbie.

  She searched the countryside once more and spotted a winding break in the grass. It appeared to be a small creek. If the brush lining it were high enough, she might create a hiding place for the boys. Then, she would pray that the bear couldn’t sniff them out.

  “Robbie, grab my skirt and don’t let go.”

  With Davie’s hand in hers, the three of them bent and crept through the grass. Several times, she pitched forward after tripping over the hem of her dress. Every few seconds, she stole a look over her shoulder. The bear continued to meander closer in no particular hurry. While the wind was to their advantage, time was not on their side.

  Once they reached the creek, Hallie spotted a narrow trench across the water, perhaps the remnants of an abandoned claim. The brush growing up around it wasn’t even waist high, but the boys were small enough to hide inside. Keeping low, she waded through the chilly, calf-high water as quickly as possible, but not so fast that Robbie lost his hold on her. She was unable to pick up her skirts but pressed on through the creek, hoping the bear couldn’t track them through the water.

  She shoved Robbie, then Davie, into the muddy trench, instructing the boys to curl into balls. “Try to cover yourselves with the brush. Don’t move and don’t make a sound.”

  “W-where are you going?”

  She smiled at Robbie and swallowed the fear that crawled up her throat. “Not far. Take care of Davie.”

  Hallie double-checked to see that the rifle was loaded. For one long moment, she drank in the sight of her boys, then turned away. Like a shovel, fear dug at her heart with each step that put more distance between herself and the children.

  The bear stopped near the spot where she’d dropped the basket of blueberries. It ate the fruit while Hallie prayed unceasingly. Thankfully, the breeze blew the stench of the creature toward her, rather than her scent to it.

  She crouched in the grass and pressed the butt of the rifle against her shoulder. The weapon shook so, she was certain the animal would laugh if it saw her.

  Please, Father, protect the boys. Protect us all.

  Soon, the grizzly would resume its advance. “Stay away, Mr. Bear. I don’t want to shoot you,” she mumbled.

  He had better turn away, because the quake rumbling through her body weakened her legs until they were useless for running.

  Chapter Nine

  Rance scanned the landscape, looking for Hallie and the boys among the grass and
bushes loaded with blueberries.

  He squinted at something in the distance. A woman’s hat rose above the grassland to his left. Hallie. What was she doing, and where were the boys?

  He started toward her, but movement in his peripheral vision froze him in mid-step.

  A grizzly.

  What should he do? Running to his family would bring the bear’s attention to them.

  Hallie’s furtive movement indicated her awareness of the danger. So far, the animal hadn’t seemed to notice any of them, so he’d wait and hope it would mosey on. He sank down, raised the shotgun, and willed Hallie not to budge.

  God, make us all invisible to it.

  Seconds ticked away. Minutes. The whole time, his glance swiveled from Hallie to the bear and back to Hallie. She and the boys must be getting restless. He could make his way around the other side of the animal, increasing his distance from his family, then draw its attention away from them.

  Rance shifted, but before he could stand, the bear lifted its head and sniffed the air. Oh, no. Raising the gun, Rance prayed that God would give him accuracy.

  The grizzly stood immobile for what felt like an eternity, then it turned and lumbered away from Rance’s family. In moments, it had disappeared over a knoll.

  Rance sank back on his heels and his chin dropped. Now that he could breathe again, his heartfelt thanks flew heavenward.

  With his chest pumping like the piston of an engine, Rance jumped up and sprinted through the grass. Every yard left him gasping to reach his family.

  He dashed down a short slope, stumbling as he went. Hallie’s body wobbled as she rose and leaned on the Winchester. She spotted him, dropped the rifle, and rushed toward him, terror written in her speed and on her face. Lunging at him, she knocked him backward. Her arms entwined his neck while his encompassed her waist, drawing her off the ground. Water from her drenched skirt seeped through the material of his trouser legs.