A Love Most Worthy Read online

  He shook his head. “I’m as much to blame.”

  “You were not innocent, Rance. That’s true.”

  When he started to speak, she laid a finger against his mouth. “You were misguided in giving your affection to the wrong person. You made mistakes, and you’ve grown from their consequences.”

  His cool lips pressed against her finger in a kiss that caused her stomach to drop. He pulled her finger away from his mouth, but his hold tightened on her other hand. “I appreciate what you’re saying. But if not for me, the parents of those boys in there”—he pointed behind him to the house—“would still be alive.”

  “Word would have gotten out eventually, Rance. And you did not compel Trevor and Livie to travel with you to the gold fields or remain there. You did not conspire with Colleen or force that miner to pull the trigger. You hold no power to decide who survives in life and who does not.

  “A mistake can be forgiven, even when the outcome leaves hearts broken. You can teach that to Robbie and Davie, but you can’t do it by running from the joy of life. I learned that lesson from my father.”

  Not sure if her words would have an impact or if he would brush them off, Hallie knew she must try—for their future. “God looks on the heart, and I believe He sees goodness and mourning and contrition in yours.”

  “Hallie—”

  “I see the man you are today. I see someone who puts his nephews first, even to the point of being willing to attach himself to a stranger, a woman he didn’t love, just to give them a mother.” She sighed. “This conversation has been a lot to take in, yet I can’t help asking why you chose to open a store in another gold town. Why not return to Georgia and leave the boys in the care of your family?”

  “Because I’m the one who made Robbie and Davie orphans.” He let go of her hand. “Writing my parents was agony. I’m not sure they’ll ever forgive me, and I can’t face them until I’m certain I’m no longer that son with the devil riding his shoulder.”

  The sorrow in Rance’s voice grieved her. She stepped closer and hugged him—to comfort him, to fill the physical and emotional space between them. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re ready to show your family who you are today.”

  His exhale—long and drawn out—seemed to release the weight of his past, and his arms wrapped around her. “Livie was already dead when I entered the cabin. Before he died, Trevor appointed me guardian of his boys. He talked of their futures and wanted to leave them more than his share of the gold. He wanted to leave them a sense of purpose as they grew, so he made me promise to use his portion of the money to open a store and fulfill his plan to serve the miners, fair and square.”

  Now, the sign on the building made sense to Hallie. She drew back to gaze up at him. “The ‘Preston’ in the business name isn’t you. It’s your brother.”

  He bobbed his head. “The trading company belongs to Robbie and Davie. I sank a portion of my share of the gold into the store and am running it for them until they’re old enough to do so themselves. In the meantime, most of my brother’s share waits in an account until they reach adulthood.” This time, his expression was not as tender as he waited for her reaction.

  After hearing of his experience with Colleen, Hallie sympathized with his misgivings about her. She could forgive him for suspecting she had come to Nome for whatever riches he might possess. He was afraid she would betray him too.

  She bumped his elbow in a playful manner to ease some of the strain between them. “I told you...goodness in your heart. I think your brother saw it or he wouldn’t have entrusted his children and their futures to you. He gave you an opportunity to prove yourself, and I couldn’t be prouder of what you’ve done with it. As you related your past, it never occurred to me to regret marrying you, Rance Preston.”

  For the first time, his bearing relaxed. “Maybe one day, I’ll be worthy of your confidence in me.”

  Maybe one day he would consider her worthy of—dare she think it?—the love of a husband for his wife.

  He heaved another sigh. “Once the boys are old enough to understand, I don’t know how I’ll ever tell them the truth.”

  “You’ll find a way. We will find way.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Rance whistled despite the return of the rain that beat against the roof of the house. Why had he ever thought himself in love with Colleen? Her charms faded to nothingness when compared to those of his wife.

  Hallie loved the children and engaged them all with her sense of humor. She showed Rance patience, understanding, and mercy. Over the past couple weeks, he had courted her, not wanting to rush, but with the eventual intention of making their marriage real.

  “You smell good.”

  He grinned. “Thanks, Robbie.”

  The boys had insisted on watching him dress to take Hallie to supper. When he slapped cologne on his freshly-shaved skin and winced at the sting, Davie wrinkled his nose. “Does Aunt Hallie really like that stuff? It don’t matter to her when me and Robbie stink.”

  Rance laughed. “I can assure you it does matter, Nugget. Women like their men and little boys to look and smell good.”

  Robbie tilted his head. “Are we her boys?”

  “Without a doubt.”

  Rance adjusted his tie and slipped into his suit coat. At the time of their marriage, he’d stood in front of the altar and lied to Hallie and God as easily as he had been lied to by Colleen. No more shame over his wedding vows.

  He knelt in front of the children. “Mrs. Taylor will be here shortly. You’re to obey her and go to bed at your normal time, understand?”

  “Yes, sir,” said Robbie.

  “Yes, sir,” Davie echoed.

  Rance paced the front room until Hallie walked down the hall from the bedroom. The sight of her in a blue dress he hadn’t seen before stalled his breath. The color set off her eyes and the ivory of her skin. How he ever thought her looks inferior to the second woman in the photo she had sent him, he could no longer say.

  He crooked his arm. When she grasped it, he tugged her closer and whispered, “You look lovely.”

  “It’s the dress. I just finished sewing it today.”

  “It’s not the dress. You are lovely, Hallie.”

  Her features glowed, and he suspected he did a bit of glowing himself.

  Though the first week of September had been warmer than the last week of August with its dusting of snow, he wrapped her in her cloak. “We’ll have to take extra care to keep your clothes from the damp and mud.” He grabbed an umbrella and opened the front door. “You know, it might be necessary for me to carry you on occasion.”

  “I won’t melt.” She winked. “But I won’t argue either.”

  He laughed with more joy than he had known in too long.

  The walk was rougher than Rance had counted on. The umbrella proved useless as the wind blew into their faces and caused them to lower their heads to advance.

  A few minutes later, they entered one of the better eating establishments in Nome, a place equal to an evening out with a special woman. As they looked over the menu, the door opened and a couple rushed inside, leaving behind the wind and rain.

  Hallie turned at the cool breeze that blew in with them. “It’s Sybil and Bill.” She caught the couple’s attention with a wave.

  Despite the interruption to their evening, Rance invited the Zellers to join them. The couple looked at one another, and Bill Zeller said, “We don’t want to intrude.”

  Hallie glanced at Rance. He had hoped for more time alone with his wife, maybe time for a meaningful conversation about the future. However, there was no reason for him to be selfish. He and Hallie would have plenty of nights like this in the coming days. These were his wife’s friends and a couple he had met briefly at the store a few times in the past weeks. “Nonsense.” He pulled out a chair for Mrs. Zeller.

  She turned to Hallie and a shadow of sadness darkened her face. “What perfect timing, since we have news to share.”

&nb
sp; Bill said, “Why don’t we talk about it later, love?”

  Sybil dipped her chin. “All right.”

  Once the initial small talk was over and they had received their meals, Hallie leaned forward and lowered her voice to ask, “How is the mining coming, Bill?”

  He exchanged a glance with his wife. “That’s our news. We’re heading home to Kansas.”

  “You’re leaving?” Hallie opened her mouth as if she wanted to protest. Then, her expression relaxed, and she grasped Sybil’s hand. “I’ll be sorry to see you go.”

  Sybil nodded. “I’ll miss you too.”

  With competition from the larger mining companies and the ready gold on the beach beginning to dwindle, the Zeller’s probably weren’t making much more than it cost them to live here. The weather lately hadn’t encouraged the miners either. Waves swept the beach and tides were low, leaving those in the tents wet and the pumps inoperable.

  Rance glanced at Hallie. He had never taken her panning gold as she once asked, and she hadn’t brought up the subject again. On the next nice day, it wouldn’t hurt to stroll along the beach with their eyes to the sand.

  “We aren’t rich,” Bill said, “probably won’t ever be, but we got enough for a last good meal before sailing.”

  Bill’s remark brought Rance back to the conversation. “Not many miners get rich.”

  “True.” The man frowned. “We like it here, though, and talked about opening a store like yours, but with so many miners thinking of leaving for the winter, I’m afraid it won’t pay to add more competition. I reckon we’ll swallow our pride and head back to run Pa’s store.”

  Rance closed his mouth on the impulsive offer to employ the man. Before the last boat left Nome for the year, Mr. Taylor, his best employee, would return to California with his mother, leaving Rance without someone he trusted to help him run the store. But how did he know Bill Zeller had the know-how to fill the position?

  The next hour passed with the speed of an avalanche. Rance liked the couple’s simple outlook on life and friendly manner. They reminded him of some of the neighbors he grew up with back home.

  Sybil asked, “Have you heard any more from your cousin, Hallie?”

  His wife set her fork down. “I received a letter from Harriet last week. She says she’s happy in her marriage.”

  “Good.” Sybil laughed. “I told Bill about the two of you pretending to be twins when you were growing up.”

  Hallie rolled her eyes but shared in the laughter. “We were quite the pair of ruffians in those days. Hallie and Hattie Russell, Scourges of Seattle.”

  Rance choked on his coffee and began coughing. Hattie Russell?

  Hallie slapped his back. “Are you all right, Rance?”

  Even with Hallie’s insistence on the proper spelling of her name, Rance hadn’t cared enough to check the signature on the letter from his potential bride. He’d convinced himself he had read it incorrectly.

  Why hadn’t he put the pieces together and realized that Hattie was short for Harriet?

  “Rance?”

  He couldn’t believe what she was asking him. How could he be all right upon learning he’d married the wrong person? How could he be all right in knowing a second woman he loved had deceived him about her true identity?

  ONCE MRS. TAYLOR LEFT the house, Hallie walked to the cook stove. She fingered her mother’s locket with both gold nuggets inside as queasiness settled in her stomach. She must have eaten too much supper. “Would you like me to make you some coffee?”

  Rance parted the rigid line of his lips long enough to say, “No, thank you.”

  On second thought, it wasn’t the meal that made her queasy. “Is something wrong? You said nothing on the walk back home. Don’t you like the Zellers?”

  He removed his suit coat. “They’re a fine couple.”

  “Are you upset because they ate with us?”

  “Why would that upset me when I asked them to join us?”

  This was getting them nowhere fast. She crossed her arms. “Then what is the problem?”

  For several moments, Rance stared at her as if he were struggling to find the right answer. Then he looked away. “It’s time we said good night.” He marched down the hall to the bedroom where the boys were sleeping. The door shut with a soft click.

  Hallie mumbled, “Good night.”

  Not sleepy, she sat in the rocker. With the tip of her toe, she kept the chair moving back and forth. The evening had started like a dream. Rance was handsome and attentive. He appeared happy to be with her. In fact, during the walk to the restaurant, she imagined he had more planned for them than a simple supper. If he had, his plans ended with the arrival of Sybil and Bill.

  Oh, why had the couple chosen tonight to intrude? If they hadn’t walked into the restaurant, she and Rance wouldn’t have been interrupted. They might have grown closer rather than further apart.

  Her shoulders sank. She couldn’t blame Rance’s anger on her friends when, undoubtedly, it centered on her.

  Her eyelids grew heavy with the rocking motion. But at the sharp and angry stomp of a man’s stride, they popped open.

  Rance stalked toward her with papers clutched in his fist. “What is your name?”

  “My name?” Hallie would have added a teasing remark about forgetfulness if the bark in his voice hadn’t taken a bite out of her poise. “You know it well. Hallie.”

  “Your full name.”

  She rose from the chair, not liking the disadvantage of having him bent over her. “My name is Hallie Marie Russell Preston, and I don’t like your tone.”

  He slapped the papers across his palm and she flinched. “Then why is this letter signed Hattie Russell—with two T’s, not two L’s?”

  She glanced at the papers. Harriet’s letter. She could tell by the handwriting. Perhaps he was becoming forgetful after all. “She’s my cousin Harriet. We talked about her at supper.”

  “Your cousin. The one you said just married?”

  “Yes. Why?”

  He shook his head. “Let’s go about this in a different way. Where is Hattie Russell? Where is the woman I sent a ticket for passage on the San Juan? Why did she up and marry someone else, and why are you here?”

  “Those are a good many unnecessary questions when you should know the answers.” Hallie inhaled a calming breath. If she remained composed, they would eventually get to the bottom of his confusion. “Harriet met Frank Connors, and they eloped. Honestly, she’s a good person, if not a little impuls—”

  “What did you say?” The crimson of anger disappeared from his face and was replaced by a distressing ashen color.

  “I-I said Harriet is a good person.”

  “No. Who did she marry?”

  “A man named Frank Connors. Are you ill? You look pale.”

  He rubbed the scar at his temple and shook his head. “Forget the man she married. It doesn’t explain you.”

  The shout and renewed fierceness in his drawn eyebrows sent a shiver of fear along the back of her neck, but she refused to shrink away from him. “Please keep your voice down before you wake the boys.”

  He glanced at the bedroom, but his posture remained stiff. “Hallie?”

  “I wrote about Harriet’s elopement in my letter.”

  “What letter?”

  “I’m beginning to worry about you.” She reached for his forehead, but he brushed her hand away. His agitated and sour attitude was wearing on her. “I sent a letter before I sailed. It explained everything—how sorry Harriet was to disappoint you, how my home was being taken from me, how I didn’t think you’d mind since your purpose was in finding someone to care for your nephews.”

  “I received no such letter.” The royal blue of his eyes darkened to the frightful color of storm clouds. “Even if I had, you didn’t think I’d mind welcoming someone into my house with whom I’d never corresponded? A woman who hadn’t been investigated by my...” He paused, then said, “By my so-called friend?” As he stepped c
loser, she shuffled backward. “How do I even know you’re who you say you are? How do I know you’re not some swindler? Maybe you’re working with someone else—the Zellers or that scoundrel Digby—to steal everything from the boys.”

  Disbelief produced a cry that nearly strangled her. “You think I would do something like that?”

  “How do I know, Hallie? How can I tell? I believed in a woman once before, remember? It got two people I loved killed.”

  The room blurred with her tears, and she whispered, “I am not Colleen.”

  He turned his back on her as though looking at her disgusted him. “Maybe not, but I won’t chance that you would do Robbie and Davie more harm than good.” Rance’s shoulders fell. “I’ll see that you’re provided passage on the next ship leaving for Seattle. Until it sails, I think it’s best if you don’t see the boys.”

  Not see the boys again? Hallie shuddered. Rance couldn’t have hurt her any more than if he’d pierced her heart with a pickaxe. She tried to stifle a sob and failed. Not only had he unjustly scorned her, but he was forcing her to leave the children who had become as much a part of her as any she could have birthed.

  Holding her quivering chin high, she walked past him into the bedroom and closed the door on the man she loved and the absurd dream of a family of her own.

  Chapter Twelve

  Hallie left the house before the boys woke. When Rance heard her tiptoe down the hall at five o’clock, he peeked out of the bedroom in time to see the front door close behind her.

  Outside, the wind wailed with another day of strong gales, and the walls of the house creaked and moaned. He almost chased after her to tell her not to leave, that he hadn’t meant what he had said. Only he had meant it, at least the part about sending her back to Seattle.

  “I am not Colleen.”

  Even if that were true, how could he make a life with Hallie when she had married him under false pretenses? He had grown to trust her, even after she deceived him about the visit to her friends. After learning she had fooled him again, how could he trust her with the boys? How could he trust her feelings for him?